What is Sexual Abstinence?
Sexual abstinence, or sexual restraint, is the intentional choice to refrain from engaging in sexual activity, which can include various behaviors that provoke sexual arousal.
The Bible teaches that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, meant to be honored and respected. When we engage in sexual immorality, we dishonor the sanctity of our bodies, which are designed to reflect God’s holiness and purity. In today’s culture, where sexual freedom and casual relationships are often normalized, it can be easy to lose sight of YAH’s commandments regarding sexual purity and the call to repentance. Unfortunately, many fail to acknowledge that we are called to repent for all sin, including our sexual behaviors. This misunderstanding often arises from the belief that, since we are under grace, we are free to live however we want. One of the most common misconceptions about grace is the idea that it gives us a free pass to sin without consequences. However, grace is not a license to live in disobedience to the Most High’s commands; rather, it is the power that enables us to turn from sin and live according to YHWH’s will. We must remember that grace empowers us to live in alignment with His holiness, not as an excuse to continue in our sinful ways.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -1 John 1:9
WHAT IS SEXUAL IMMORALITY?
Sexual immorality includes both physical actions and impure thoughts or desires. It encompasses two main elements:
- Sexual activity: refers to any physical or emotional interaction that stimulates sexual desire, such as intimate touch, kissing, sexual intercourse, pornography, or bodily stimulation. Pornography, as a form of visual or written material, can evoke sexual desire and influence thoughts and behavior, contributing to sexual immorality. Bodily stimulation involves physical actions that elicit sexual pleasure or excitement, further fueling desire.
- Sexual arousal: is a multifaceted physiological and psychological response to sexual stimuli. This response involves physical changes, such as an increased heart rate, blood flow to the genital area, and the release of hormones like dopamine and oxytocin. Psychologically, sexual arousal can include heightened feelings of desire, attraction, or fantasy, all of which prepare the individual for the possibility of sexual intercourse. The Messiah teaches us, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This reminder emphasizes the importance of guarding not only our actions but also our thoughts when it comes to sexual temptation. By practicing self-control over both our desires and behaviors, we can resist the lure of temptation. With the strength of the Holy Spirit, we are empowered to overcome these impulses, living in accordance with God’s will and honoring the purity and sanctity of our bodies.
The Messiah teaches us, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This reminder emphasizes the importance of guarding not only our actions but also our thoughts when it comes to sexual temptation. By practicing self-control over both our desires and behaviors, we can resist the lure of temptation. With the strength of the Holy Spirit, we are empowered to overcome these impulses, living in accordance with God’s will and honoring the purity and sanctity of our bodies.
To combat sexual immorality, self-control is essential. It is through self-control that we can resist the temptations that surround us in a world that often promotes indulgence and instant gratification. The Bible teaches that the fruit of the Spirit includes self-control (Galatians 5:23), which empowers us to make choices that honor God and align with His will. Practicing self-control in our thoughts, actions, and desires helps us to remain pure and focused on our relationship with YHWH, rather than being swayed by the fleeting pleasures of the flesh. It is through daily discipline and surrender to the Holy Spirit that we can overcome the lure of immorality and live in accordance with God’s commandments.
THE CALL TO REPENTANCE
Repentance is more than just an apology—it is a genuine turning away from sin and a commitment to live according to the Most High’s commandments. In the context of sexual sin, repentance involves acknowledging that our actions have violated the Most High’s design for human sexuality, expressing sorrow for the harm done to ourselves, others, and our relationship with God, and seeking forgiveness through faith in Messiah.
Scripture teaches us that marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers the Most High will judge. The Bible is clear that sexual immorality is a serious offense against YAH’s holiness.
REPENTANCE: A PATH FOR RENEWAL
Repentance is a powerful act of turning away from sin and returning to God. It is more than just saying sorry; it involves a sincere change of heart, a desire to align our lives with God’s will, and a commitment to living in obedience to Him. Through repentance, we acknowledge our wrongdoings, seek forgiveness, and allow God to transform us from the inside out. This process is essential for spiritual growth and renewal, as it brings us back into a right relationship with our Creator.
- CONFESSION AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT:
1 John 1:9 assures us that, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The first step in repentance is to admit the sin. We must recognize that sexual sin is a violation of YAH’s will, whether through actions, thoughts, or desires. - SINCERE SORROW:
True repentance involves feeling sorrowful for having sinned against the Most High and for the consequences our sin may have brought. It is taking accountability of our actions, thoughts and desires and acknowledging our sin. - TURINING AWAY FROM SIN:
Repentance requires action. It requires turning away from sin. Turning away from sexual sin means setting boundaries, avoiding temptation, and seeking purity in our thoughts and actions. This may involve avoiding certain places, relationships, entertainment or situations where temptation could arise. - HEALING AND RESTORATION:
God offers healing and restoration to those who repent. For many, sexual sin may have led to emotional or psychological scars. It Is important to seek God’s help for healing. Remember that God does not condemn those who turn to Him with a humble heart (Romans 8:1). - RENEWING YOUR MIND:
In Romans 12:2 we are reminded, “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” - COMMITMENT TO PURITY: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 reminds us that, For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God.
THE BLESSING OF REPENTENCE AND COMMITMENT TO ABSTIENCE
The journey of repentance and abstinence until marriage may not always be easy, but it is incredibly rewarding. YHWH promises that when we honor Him with our bodies, He will bless us with peace, joy, and the strength to persevere. In the end, living according to His will leads to emotional and spiritual fulfillment, a closer relationship with the Most High, and a marriage rooted in His love and purpose.
As we repent from sexual sin and commit to abstinence, we not only restore our relationship with the Most High but also lay the foundation for a future marked by purity, trust, and love. By His grace, the Most High equips us to live in accordance with His design and experience the fullness of His blessings.
This call is not one of shame or guilt but an invitation to embrace the Most High’s perfect design for our bodies, relationships, and futures. Repentance is about redemption and renewal, not condemnation. Celibacy until marriage provides an opportunity to honor YAH and create a foundation for a marriage built on trust, purity, and genuine love.
For a woman who has repented of sexual immorality, committing to abstinence until marriage is an essential step towards the narrow path. It is a beautiful act of trust in YAH’s plan for your life. It involves honoring both yourself and the sacredness of sexual intimacy, recognizing that it is reserved for the covenant of marriage, as God intended.
FOUR WAYS TO MAINTAIN SELF-CONTROL
- SET BOUNDARIES:
- Proverbs 25:28: ” Whoever has no rule over his own spirit Is like a city broken down, without walls.”
- Galatians 6:7-8: “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”
- GUARD YOUR HEART:
- Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
- HONOR YHWH’s DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE:
- Malachi 2:14-16: ” Yet you say, “For what reason? Because the Lord has been witness. Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
- TRUST YAH’S TIMING:
- Isaiah 55:8-9: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
True worship of our Heavenly Father is done “in spirit and truth,” as the Messiah teaches in The Book of John. For those of us who are committed to following the Most High’s will, understanding the importance of repentance and abstinence is part of our spiritual growth. Repentance is not merely about acknowledging our sins but about turning away from them and seeking to live according to the Most High’s commands. For many women who have experienced the pain of sexual sin immorality—whether from past choices, societal pressures, or wounds inflicted by others—this journey of repentance and healing is essential. The path forward is not about living in shame but embracing the Most High’s grace and committing to adhering to His will. One key aspect of this is choosing to remain abstinence in singleness or until marriage. Abstinence is not a form of restriction, but a conscious decision to obey the Most High’s command.
