“I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin.”
People have wronged you, wounded you, and left you with trauma.
It is only human to ask, “Why should I forgive?”
However, the real question is not ‘Why should I forgive?’
It is ‘Why won’t I forgive?’
FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE
Forgiveness is not about them—it is about you! When we are unwilling to forgive someone, we give pain the power to shape our perspective and path. Unresolved hurt becomes fertile ground for bitterness, fear, and shame to overpower the heart and mind. Our suffering opens spiritual doors that the enemy eagerly walks through, allowing him to keep us trapped in toxic cycles we were never meant to remain in. These cycles rob us of peace, harm our bodies, and weigh down our minds. It also makes it harder for us to follow the Most High’s will, because it shuts down the inner conviction the Holy Spirit gives us.
As stated in Proverbs 4:23 “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” What begins in the heart never stays there, it shows up in our health, our habits, and every part of our lives. This is why choosing with wisdom, matters. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” — James 1:5.
The Holy Spirit gives us wisdom from above, leads us to reclaim our peace, disrupts the enemy’s plans, and directs our steps according to YHWH’s will. Through the Holy Spirit’s guidance, we take back the power to choose, making decisions rooted in faith and truth, not in fear. To fully walk in this freedom, we must also forgive. Forgiveness is essential to receiving YHWH’s forgiveness. The Messiah said, ‘If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses’ (Matthew 6:15). When we forgive, we not only release others, we free ourselves, making room for peace, wisdom, and healing to flow in every part of our lives.
WHY FORGIVE?
Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and discern the will of the Highest—His good, acceptable, and perfect will.
Cluttered hearts filled with rage, bitterness, and resentment create distance between us and YHWH. However, when we choose to forgive, we invite healing and closeness to enter our lives. We forgive because forgiveness re-establishes the authority of YHWH in our life. It is a courageous act of love, not just for others, but for us. It allows us to release the heavy burdens we carried for far too long and make room for the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). The path to forgiveness is not always easy. It calls us to face our pain, acknowledge our wounds, and make the choice to let go. Yet in that surrender, we discover that forgiveness is a gift from the Highest—graciously given, just as He forgives us when we repent and turn away from sin.
HEAL, RELEASE & WALK with YHWH
The bible serves as a guide, offering timely life lessons and guidance. Within the books of the bible, we can find numerous examples of individuals choosing forgiveness, teaching us invaluable lessons about the Most High’s grace and mercy, and the transformative nature of forgiveness.
The most important lessons about forgiveness are:
- Forgiveness allows us to heal and grow spiritually.
- It teaches us to walk humbly with YHWH.
- It empowers us to establish healthy boundaries.
- It reminds us to be firm in our “No” and sincere in our “Yes.”
- We are free to love others from a distance when necessary.
- Forgiveness brings peace, freeing us to surrender our burdens.
- It encourages us to trust in the Most High’s perfect timing.
- And it reminds us that we have no control over others.
The Most High reminds us that we are not called to seek revenge, but to trust Him with justice. ‘Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord’ (Romans 12:19) Only YHWH knows the heart. He alone sees who has truly repented and who has not. When we release judgment into His hands, we make room for peace, healing, and divine justice to prevail.
JOSEPH’S STORY OF FORGIVENESS
Joseph’s story is a key examples of forgiveness and restoration in the Bible. Though Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery, he forgave them when they came to Egypt seeking grain during the famine, recognizing that God had used their actions for a greater purpose.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” – Genesis 50:20
Joseph’s forgiveness was not just a choice to let go of the pain, it was a choice to restore relationships, to bless his brothers, and to see YHWH’s greater plan unfolding.
- Joseph’s Initial Reaction:
Joseph’s brothers, who had previously betrayed him, came to buy grain out of Egypt. When Joseph saw his brothers he spoke to them roughly and treated them like strangers. Then he remembered the dream he had about them. Reference: (Genesis 37) - Joseph’s Compassion:
When Joseph’s brothers came to buy grain during the famine, he tested their hearts—especially their treatment of their youngest brother, Benjamin. Seeing their genuine remorse for what they had done to him years earlier and their willingness to protect Benjamin at all costs, Joseph was deeply moved. His compassion grew, and he secretly returned their money in their sacks as a gesture of kindness and continued to weep privately over them. - Joseph Reveals Himself and Forgives:
Joseph finally revealed his identity to his brothers, and they were dismayed and afraid in his presence. But Joseph reassured them, telling them not to be distressed or angry with themselves, for YHWH had sent him ahead to preserve life. He explained that what they intended for evil, the Most High used for good—to save many people during the famine. Instead of seeking revenge, Joseph forgave them and showed kindness, promising to provide for them and their families. - Reconciliation and Restoration:
Joseph invited his entire family to live in Egypt during the famine. By Pharaoh’s command, he gave them food and the best land in Goshen, ensuring their safety and provision. His actions reflected not only forgiveness but also a desire to restore relationship and preserve his family’s future, in fulfillment of God’s greater plan.
“If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4
Although Joseph was deeply hurt by his brothers’ betrayal, he remembered the revelation the Most High had given him in his youth — that one day his family would bow before him (Genesis 37:5–11). This vision wasn’t about pride, but a prophecy of God’s purpose to use Joseph to preserve life. When his brothers came to Egypt seeking food, Joseph recognized them, and he tested their hearts to see if they had changed (Genesis 42:7–20).
This reminds us to hold fast to what the Most High has revealed through His Word — even in the midst of pain or delay.
As it is written:
- “Write the vision and make it plain… though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come”
- “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path”
Joseph not only tested their spirit but also addressed the past directly. He spoke with his brothers about what they had done (Genesis 45:3–8; Genesis 50:20), yet he chose forgiveness over revenge. His brothers, especially Judah, showed clear evidence of repentance and transformation — willing to sacrifice themselves to protect Benjamin (Genesis 44:18–34). Their actions showed they had turned from their former evil ways.
KEY TAKEAWAY:
We must remember what the Most High has revealed to us, trust His timing, and discern the hearts of others without harboring bitterness. When we see true repentance, we are called not only to forgive but to restore, just as Joseph did. However, while forgiveness is always required, restoration is not always necessary. Some relationships, though forgiven, are not meant to be reestablished especially when there is no repentance or ongoing harm. This distinction will become clear in the next biblical example.
DAVID FORGIVES SAUL- But Keeps His Distance
It is important to remember that forgiveness does not always lead to reconciliation. True reconciliation requires both parties to acknowledge the harm done and commit to the process of healing together. However, when one person remains unrepentant or unwilling to change, reconciliation may not be possible. Even then, forgiveness is still essential for your peace and freedom. It is how one release’s the grip of anger, bitterness, and the burdens of unforgiveness.
1 Samuel 18–24 shows a long and painful history between David and Saul. Saul, once a mentor and king to David, becomes consumed with jealousy and sought to kill him, not just once, but repeatedly.
Despite Saul’s relentless attempts at David’s life, David refuses to retaliate. David had multiple chances to kill Saul but chose instead to spare him, out of reverence for the Most High’s anointing.
“May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge me on you, but my hand shall not be against you.” —1 Samuel 24:12
The quote above shows that, David forgives Saul. He lets go of vengeance and places justice in the Highest’s hands. But notice what he does not do:
He does not return to Saul’s house. He does not restore the relationship. He does not trust Saul again.
David forgave Saul—but he did not reconcile with him.
Why?
Since, Saul remained unstable, dangerous, and unrepentant. Forgiveness was given, but safety and wisdom required distance.
THE POWER OF OUR CHOICES
Remember this: the Most High gave us the power to choose. It is a divine gift, a reflection of His love and grace. We are not puppets. We are not bound. We were created with free will, the ability to choose life, to choose the truth (not our truth), and to choose the Highest.
The enemy works overtime to distort our choices. His goal is to confuse, distract, and deceive us so that we unknowingly align ourselves with his will instead of the will of the Highest. The easiest way for him to do that is through pain, especially early pain—pain that clouds our judgment and causes us to act out of fear instead of faith.
When we carry unresolved trauma, especially from childhood, our ability to choose becomes tangled with survival. We may react instead of reflecting, conform instead of healing, and please others instead of pleasing YHWY. The enemy plants deceptive seeds in the soil of our pain and trauma, hoping they will take root and grow into patterns of self-sabotage, shame, and spiritual disconnection.
But here is the truth: we still have the power to choose.
- We can choose to heal.
- We can choose to forgive.
- We can choose to stop the cycle.
- We can choose the Most High’s will over the enemy’s agenda.
Even in moments of breakdown or when we have gone astray, the Highest still offers us the power to choose. Whether we realize it or not, everything we do is a choice—even in the most difficult circumstances we always have a choice.
When we understand that every action is rooted in choice, we begin to see how your decisions, both for ourselves and others, shape and navigate our life. This is why we should align with the will of the Highest—His will is the source of life! Too often, I hear others say they had “no choice”, but the truth is, they did. They made the choice that seemed right at the time.
Imagine if, before every decision, we paused and asked:
Consider how different our lives might be today, especially in adulthood, if every decision we made had been surrendered to the will of YHWH and guided by His Word.
To truly know His will, we must immerse ourselves in prayer and the study of His Word. Often, the right response is to wait. When no clear direction is given, we must resist the urge to move ahead on our own. In stillness, we find clarity. In waiting, we show trust.
The Most High has not left us defenseless. He is near the broken-hearted. He restores what has been lost, redeems what is broken, and strengthens us to make choices that lead to life, not destruction.
You can choose to surrender your pain, confusion, and frustration. You can choose to yield to the will of the Most High and invite Him into every decision you make. When you do, you do not just survive; you overcome.
The Messiah did not die without purpose. According to the Scriptures, He bore our sins, suffered for our transgressions, and was raised so that we might live through Him.
As you practice forgiveness, remember the words of Matthew 6:12:
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”