Understanding Concubinage In The Bible
While the Bible is renowned for its list of do’s and don’ts when it comes to intimacy, one type of arrangement does not receive much attention – concubinage. However, it is important to note that the Bible does not condone this practice. If you look closer, you will discover a few relationships of this nature that were recorded.
So, what can we learn from these examples of concubinage in the Bible?
First, we see that The Almighty Father is concerned with the hearts of His people and not just their actions. In the story of Abraham and Hagar, we see that although Abraham was disobeying the Most High by taking Hagar as his concubine, He was still concerned with their well-being. He showed Hagar compassion and care and blessed her and her son.
In the Bible, concubines were not considered to be equal to wives. This is evident in the fact that they did not hold the same rights or status as their husbands. Concubines were not part of the man’s family and could be divorced at any time. In some cases, they were even treated as property. Although the Bible does not provide much information about the everyday lives of concubines, it is evident that they were primarily used to bare children, for sexual pleasure and domestic work. It is important to note that the Bible’s depiction of concubines highlights their inferior status compared to wives.
Understanding Your Worth: Refusing to Settle for Less in Your Relationships
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
– Proverbs 4:23
In situations where we find ourselves settling for less than we deserve, it is important to acknowledge our role in the matter. Instead of accepting a situation that goes against our core beliefs and values, it is crucial to trust in The Heavenly Father and His timing to bring a suitable partner into our lives. Assuming responsibility for our choices and recognizing the excuses, we make to remain in relationships that are not aligned with The Heavenly Father’s will is necessary. By doing so, we can understand why we settle for less and begin making choices that align with our true standards.
If you are unsure about where your relationship stands, there are a few signs to keep in mind. Firstly, note how he introduces you to his family and friends. Does he refer to you as his girlfriend or something else? If it is the latter, chances are he does not view you as his equal and regards you as inferior. Secondly, observe if he expects you to perform traditional wife duties, such as a sexual relationship, cooking and cleaning. If he does, then he may be treating you more like a concubine rather than a wife. Third, and perhaps most importantly, does he respect you and treat you as an equal? If he does not, then he sees you as a concubine and not a wife.
It can be a red flag if a man asks you to prove your worthiness as a wife and expects you to conform to his expectations, as he may not value you as a lifelong partner. Instead, a man who is looking for a long-term relationship will assess your suitability by observing how you maintain your living space, take care of yourself, and how you interact with others.
Be authentic instead of trying to impress him and remember to be kind while also protecting your heart.
It is not your responsibility to provide him with wife privileges, so reserve that for your future spouse to avoid emotional distress, anxiety, premature pregnancy etc.
5 I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.
– Songs of Solomon 3:5
8 Signs to Identify If He May See You as His Wife
- He wants to marry you:
It is common for men to propose and set a date when they are ready to settle down. However, every relationship is unique, and couples move at different paces. Some may take longer to reach this point, while others may move more quickly. It is important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your expectations and the future of your relationship. Rushing into marriage without fully understanding each other’s wants and needs can cause issues down the line. Always keep The Heavenly Father at the center of your relationship and prioritize honest communication with your partner.
- He includes you in his long-term plans:
If your partner is dedicated to your relationship, he will probably indicate a desire to include you in plans. Look for major signs, such as making travel arrangements together, discussing long-term objectives, and how you fit into their vision. Pay close attention to how he discusses the future and your role in it. Does he make plans that include you? If so, this is a positive sign that he is committed. However, it is critical that he includes you in the decision-making process and that the plans align with your aspirations and objectives. Follow-through on commitments is also crucial. Keep in mind that communication is key in any relationship, especially when planning.
- He is interested in your opinions and thoughts:
It is important to remember that a healthy and supportive relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding. If you find that your partner consistently dismisses your thoughts and opinions, it may be worth having a conversation about how their behavior makes you feel. In some cases, it may be a simple misunderstanding that can be resolved with better communication. However, if your partner continues to disregard your perspective, it may be a sign of deeper issues in the relationship. In any case, it is important to prioritize your own needs and feelings in any relationship and to seek out partners who value and respect you as a person.
- He is genuinely concerned about your welfare:
When he shows genuine concern for your welfare, it demonstrates that he cares about your happiness, well-being, and safety. This level of consideration is often driven by love, friendship, or compassion, and can be incredibly supportive during difficult periods. It is important to express appreciation and cherish him for exhibiting this kind of concern. On the other hand, if he is indifferent to your welfare, it may be necessary to assess the relationship and engage in a conversation about the standards and expectations.
- He is comfortable discussing difficult topics with you:
Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. A clear indication that your partner is a good communicator is their willingness to engage in difficult conversations with you. These talks can range from past traumas to future aspirations. When your partner is honest and upfront about their thoughts and emotions, it builds trust and intimacy between the two of you. It also enables both partners to tackle any issues or obstacles together. However, be mindful that your partner is not using trauma bonding to desensitize you to their bad behavior or to overlook red flags. If your partner is willing to have these challenging conversations with you, it is a positive sign that they value your relationship and are committed to establishing a strong foundation for your future.
- He is proud to introduce you to his friends and family:
You can see the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about you to anyone he meets. He eagerly anticipates the moment they will get to meet you and discover the incredible person he fell in love with. He is confident that they will adore you just as much as he does, and he is excited for you to become a permanent part of his life. You are grateful to have found someone who takes pride in being with you and is willing to share every aspect of their life with you. This relationship is truly special, and you are eager to see where it takes you. However, if he introduces you as a friend or acquaintance, it may be time to evaluate your role in his life.
- He is willing to make sacrifices for you:
It is a rare and precious thing to have someone willing to make sacrifices for you. This is a clear indication that he genuinely cares about you and your well-being. It may take the form of giving up their own time, resources, or even personal goals, but the message is clear: you matter to them. It is essential to appreciate and acknowledge this kind of commitment and to reciprocate it in any way possible. A relationship based on mutual sacrifice and support can withstand any obstacle that comes its way. However, if your partner is unwilling to sacrifice their time and it seems like they prioritize others over you, it is a red flag to be mindful of. Remember, a man who wants to build a long-lasting relationship and values you as his partner will understand the importance of investing his time in the relationship.
- He loves you unconditionally:
No matter what, his love for you is authentic and unyielding, even if it is not always communicated in the way you expect. He supports you through your highs and lows, and his affection is not based on superficial qualities like your appearance or accomplishments, but simply because of who you are. If he fails to show up without explanation or dismisses your emotions as being too sensitive, it is important to pay attention to these red flags. Make a list of reasons why you are in the relationship to gain clarity on the situation.
Being wife material is not just about fulfilling certain expectations or playing a role to impress a man. It is about being true to yourself and showcasing your values and qualities that make you a suitable partner for a lifelong commitment. It is not about providing him with wife privileges, but about building a strong foundation of trust, respect, and love. It is important to understand that being wife material is not just about being a good homemaker or caretaker, but also about being emotionally and mentally supportive of your partner. It is about being a team player and working together towards a common goal. So, instead of trying to prove yourself to be wife material, focus on being the best version of yourself, and the right person will appreciate and cherish you for who you are.
Proverbs
18:22
