THE INTENT OF MARRIAGE
While the Bible is renowned for its list of do’s and don’ts when it comes to intimacy, one type of arrangement does not receive much attention – concubinage. However, it is important to note that the Bible does not condone this practice. If you look closer, you will discover a few relationships of this nature that were recorded. From the beginning, the Most High established marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman. In Genesis 2:24, we read: “Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” This verse shows the Most High’s design: one man, one woman, united. There is no mention of multiple wives, concubines, or alternative arrangements in this original blueprint.
So, what can we learn from these examples of concubinage in the Bible?
THE FIRST MENTION OF POLYGAMY — A Corruption of Righteous Order
The first person in Scripture to have more than one wife was Lamech, a descendant of Cain, the one cursed for killing his brother, Abel.
“And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.” (Genesis 4:19, KJV)
This is not a coincidence. Lamech, a descendant from Cain, represents a line already marked by rebellion and violence. Just a few verses later, Lamech boasts about killing a man and seems to mock the Most High’s judgment:
“If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.” (Genesis 4:24, KJV) His statement implies arrogance, violence, and pride — the very context in which polygamy is introduced.
Now that we are aware, the first polygamous relationship in the Bible was not established by a righteous man, but by one descended from Cain — a cursed and rebellious lineage. Let’s examine the Most High’s warning.
THE WARNING: Do not follow the Ways of Other Nations!
Throughout the Scriptures, Israel is consistently warned not to follow the customs of the surrounding nations.
“And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them.”
(Leviticus 20:23, KJV)
This includes their marital practices, which often included concubinage, polygamy, and sexual immorality. The Most High set Israel apart to reflect His image and order, not the broken systems of the world.
WHAT ABOUT THE PATRIARCHS WHO HAD CONCUBINES?
Yes, patriarchs like Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon had concubines, but we must ask: Did the Most High command them to do so, or did He allow it in their weakness, while still showing the consequences of such actions?
Deuteronomy 12:8 reminds us, “Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” Similarly, Proverbs 14:12 warns, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” Judges 21:25 further emphasizes, “In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.”
These verses show that people often followed their desires, particularly in matters of sexual immorality, without regard for God’s commands. But the Messiah redefined marriage in His teachings. In Matthew 19:4-6, He said, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
This reveals that the Most High’s original design for marriage was for one man and one woman, a union based on His divine purpose and not the practices of those who followed their own hearts. The Messiah’s testimony is essential, as He came to restore the purity and holiness of marriage, guiding us back to God’s will for our lives.
That being said, here some lessons learnt:
- Abraham took Hagar as a concubine, and it resulted in strife between Sarah and Hagar (Genesis 16).
- Jacob had children with four women, which led to jealousy and division among his sons.
- David had multiple wives and concubines, yet his household was filled with violence, incest, and rebellion (2 Samuel 13).
- Solomon, despite his wisdom, fell into idolatry because of his many wives and concubines, which turned his heart away from the Most High (1 Kings 11:3-4).
These stories are not endorsements. They are warnings of what happens when men deviate from the Most High’s plan.
When we examine the relationship between Hagar and Abraham, we see that Sarah is the one who initiates and frames the arrangement (Genesis 16:2). She was barren and sought to build a family through her maidservant, so she gave Hagar to Abraham as a wife. Although Hagar was referred to as a “wife,” this title did not make her equal to Sarah. Her position remained subordinate, as confirmed when the angel of the Most High commanded her to return and submit to Sarah’s authority (Genesis 16:9).
This passage also affirms that Sarah was Abraham’s true and conventional wife, his equal and partner in the Most High’s original design for marriage. As stated in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Sarah fulfilled this role—not only in her relationship to Abraham but also in YAH’s redemptive plan. Though she acted out of human reasoning, her place in the covenant remained firm. The Most High later clarified that His promise would be fulfilled through Sarah’s son, Isaac. (Genesis 17:19–21).
Although the Bible does not provide much information about the everyday lives of concubines, it is evident that they were primarily used to bare children, for sexual pleasure and domestic work. It is important to note that the Bible’s depiction of concubines highlights their inferior status compared to wives.
MODERN-DAY CONCUBINAGE: A Reflection of the Same Rebellion
Today, concubinage exists in forms such as:
- Long-term live-in relationships without marriage
- “Kept” women or men in hidden relationships
- Multiple-partner relationships normalized by media and culture
These arrangements mirror the brokenness seen in Scripture that are rooted in lust, power imbalance and rebellion.
Just as Lamech deviated from the Most High’s original design for marriage by introducing polygamy and glorifying violence (Genesis 4:19, 23–24), modern societies also distort the image of marriage. Today, marriage is often reduced to personal preference, convenience, or cultural trends. It is far removed from the covenant the Most High established between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24).
Followers of the Most High, we are not called to live according to the dictates of our own hearts, which Scripture says are deceitful and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Instead, we are called to follow Him in spirit and in truth (John 4:24), walking in obedience to His Word, not the ways of the world.
While the world may normalize compromise, and aligning ourselves to the dictates of our heart (emotions) the Most High calls His daughters to walk in faithfulness, clarity, and purpose. Do not settle for anything less than what He has ordained. Let your life and your relationships reflect His truth, not the broken patterns of this world.
“Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls…” (Jeremiah 6:16, KJV)