“I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin.”
People have wronged you, wounded you, and left you with trauma.
It is only human to ask, “Why should I forgive?”
However, the real question is not ‘Why should I forgive?’
It is ‘Why won’t I forgive?’
Forgiveness is a Choice
Forgiveness is not about them—it is about you! When we are unwilling to forgive someone, we give pain the power to shape our perspective and path. Unresolved hurt becomes fertile ground for bitterness, fear, and shame to overpower the heart and mind. Our suffering opens spiritual doors that the enemy eagerly walks through, allowing him to keep us trapped in toxic cycles we were never meant to remain in. These cycles rob us of peace, harm our bodies, and weigh down our minds. It also makes it harder for us to follow the Most High’s will, because it shuts down the inner conviction the Holy Spirit gives us. What begins in the heart never stays there—it shows up in our health, our habits, and every part of our lives. That is why choosing wisely, with wisdom, matters. It reclaims our peace, disrupts the enemy’s plans, and positions us for transformation. It is how we take your power to choose back—to make informed decisions, not choices rooted in fear.
Why Should I forgive?
Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and discern the will of the Highest—His good, acceptable, and perfect will.
Cluttered hearts filled with rage, bitterness, and resentment create distance between us and YHWH. But when we choose to forgive, we invite healing and closeness to enter our lives. We forgive because forgiveness re-establishes the authority of YHWH in your life. It is a courageous act of love, not just for others, but for us. It allows us to release the heavy burdens we carried for far too long and make room for joy, love, and growth. The path to forgiveness is not always easy. It calls us to face our pain, acknowledge our wounds, and make the choice to let go. Yet in that surrender, we discover that forgiveness is a gift from the Highest—graciously given, just as He forgives us when we repent and turn away from sin.
Heal, Release and Walk with YHWH
The Bible serves as a guide, directing our paths and offering timely life lessons. Within the books of the bible, we can find numerous examples of individuals choosing forgiveness, teaching us invaluable lessons about the Most High’s grace and mercy, and the transformative nature of forgiveness.
The most important lessons about forgiveness are:
- Forgiveness allows us to heal and grow spiritually.
- It teaches us to walk humbly with YHWH.
- It empowers us to establish healthy boundaries.
- It reminds us to be firm in our “No” and sincere in our “Yes.”
- We are free to love others from a distance when necessary.
- Forgiveness brings peace, freeing us to surrender our burdens.
- It encourages us to trust in the Most High’s perfect timing.
- And it reminds us that we have no control over others.
The Bible is a powerful guide that directs our paths, offering timeless life lessons that, if we take the time to reflect on them, remain deeply relevant in our lives today. In its pages, we find numerous examples of individuals choosing to forgive, teaching us invaluable lessons about grace, mercy, and the transformative power of forgiveness.
JOSEPH’S STORY OF FORGIVENESS
Joseph’s story is one of the most powerful examples of forgiveness and restoration in the Bible. Despite being betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery, Joseph forgave them when they came seeking food during a famine. His forgiveness was not just a choice to let go of the pain—it was a choice to restore relationships, to bless his brothers, and to see God’s greater plan unfolding through their wrongdoing.
- Joseph’s Initial Reaction (Genesis 42):
Joseph’s brothers, who had previously betrayed him, came to Egypt for food. Despite their past, Joseph did not immediately seek revenge. Instead, he tested them, seeing how they had changed over time and observing their repentance. - Joseph’s Compassion (Genesis 43-44):
Joseph’s brothers showed genuine remorse for their actions, and when Joseph saw their willingness to protect their youngest brother, Benjamin, he began to soften. His compassion grew, and he secretly returned their money as a sign of kindness. - Joseph Reveals Himself and Forgives (Genesis 45):
Joseph finally revealed his identity to his brothers. Fearing his anger and retribution, they were surprised when Joseph forgave them. He reassured them that their betrayal was part of God’s plan to save lives. He chose not to hold their wrongs but instead extended grace and mercy. - Reconciliation and Restoration (Genesis 45:9-15):
Joseph invited his family to Egypt, providing them with food, land, and safety. This act of forgiveness was not just about letting go of the past—it was about restoring relationships and ensuring his family’s future.
“If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4
Key Takeaways from Joseph’s Story:
- Forgiveness over Retaliation: Joseph chose to forgive, even when he had the power to take revenge.
- Restoration, Not Just Forgiveness: Joseph didn’t just forgive; he worked toward reconciliation, ensuring his family’s welfare.
- Trusting YHWY Sovereignty: Joseph recognized that the Most High had a greater purpose in his suffering. Even when people wrong us, God can use those situations for good.
David Forgives Saul- But Keeps His Distance
It is important to remember that forgiveness does not always lead to reconciliation. True reconciliation requires both parties to acknowledge the harm done and commit to the process of healing together. However, when one person remains unrepentant or unwilling to change, reconciliation may not be possible. Even then, forgiveness is still essential for your peace and freedom. It is how you release the grip of anger, bitterness, and the burden of withheld forgiveness from your life.
1 Samuel 18–24 shows a long and painful history between David and Saul. Saul, once a mentor and king to David, becomes consumed with jealousy and seeks to kill him, not just once, but repeatedly.
Despite Saul’s relentless attempts at David’s life, David refuses to retaliate. David had multiple chances to kill Saul but chose instead to spare him, out of reverence for the Most High’s anointing.
“May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge me on you, but my hand shall not be against you.”
—1 Samuel 24:12
The quote above shows that, David forgives Saul. He lets go of vengeance and places justice in the Highest’s hands. But notice what he does not do:
He does not return to Saul’s house. He does not restore the relationship. He does not trust Saul again.
David forgave Saul—but he did not reconcile with him.
Why?
Since, Saul remained unstable, dangerous, and unrepentant. Forgiveness was given, but safety and wisdom required distance.
The Power Of Our Choices
Remember this: the Heavenly Father gave us the power to choose. It is a divine gift—a reflection of His love and grace. We are not puppets. We are not bound. We were created with free will, the ability to choose life, to choose the truth (not our truth), and to choose the Highest.
But because of that power, the enemy works overtime to distort our choices. His goal is to confuse, distract, and deceive us so that we unknowingly align ourselves with his will instead of the will of the Highest. The easiest way for him to do that is through pain, especially early pain—pain that clouds our judgment and causes us to act out of fear instead of faith.
When we carry unresolved trauma, especially from childhood, our ability to choose becomes tangled with survival. We may react instead of reflecting, conform instead of healing, and please others instead of pleasing God. The enemy plants deceptive seeds in the soil of our pain and trauma, hoping they will take root and grow into patterns of self-sabotage, shame, and spiritual disconnection.
But here is the truth: we still have the power to choose.
- We can choose to heal.
- We can choose to forgive.
- We can choose to stop the cycle.
- We can choose the Most High’s will over the enemy’s agenda.
Even in moments of breakdown or when we have gone astray, the Highest still offers us the power to choose. Whether we realize it or not, everything we do is a choice—even in the most difficult circumstances. We always have a choice!
When you understand that every action is rooted in choice, you begin to see how your decisions, both for yourself and others, shape and navigate your life. This is why we should align with the will of the Highest—His will is the source of life! Too often, I hear others say they had “no choice”, but the truth is, they did. They made the choice that seemed right at the time.
Imagine if, before every decision, we paused and asked:
“Does this align with the will of the Highest?”
How different might our outcomes have been—especially in our adult lives—if we had filtered every choice through His will?
To truly know His will, we must immerse ourselves in prayer and the study of His Word. Often, the right response is to wait. When no clear direction is given, we must resist the urge to move ahead on our own. In stillness, we find clarity. In waiting, we show trust.
The Most High has not left us defenseless. He is near the broken-hearted. He restores what has been lost, redeems what is broken, and strengthens us to make choices that lead to life, not destruction.
When we surrender our pain, confusion, and frustration—and invite Him into our decision-making—we don’t just survive… we overcome.
The Messiah did not die in vain. He carried our burdens and saved us from our sin, so that we might live.
As you practice forgiveness, remember the words of Matthew 6:12:
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
